A source told Newslo that the initiative was originally called “Kill, Just Kill,” but was later changed so as to better reflect the program’s mission: “Keeping You Safe by Killing Just a Few of You.”
“I can’t anticipate anyone having a problem with this, anyway. Who doesn’t love avocado kale ice cream?”
“I mean, haven’t you ever seen that documentary ‘Orange Is The New Black?’ Most women are criminals. Crazy, gay criminals.”
“Obama’s already stolen my money and my liberty, and I’m pretty sure he took my jumper cables because I can’t find them.”
Jason Graines, currently awaiting trial at an Okaloosa County Holding Center, was unavailable for comment, as it was nap time.