Donald Trump Promises To Stop “The Crazy Muslims From North Korea”

(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)

Washington, D.C. – Within hours of North Korea’s nuclear test Friday, it had become a political weapon in the U.S. The test – Pyongyang’s fifth and most powerful – had enough force to “rip the heart out of a city,” one expert said. It marks one more step in North Korea’s efforts to develop the missiles and miniaturized warheads needed to reach its perceived enemies. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump seized on the test to discredit his Democratic rival Hillary Clinton, arguing that “it’s just one more massive failure from a failed secretary of state.”

“The whole time that woman was secretary of state, she didn’t do one good thing on the job, not a single one,” Trump told CNN after a rally in Pensacola, Florida. “And it ended with the catastrophic Benghazi scandal in 2012, where we lost an ambassador and several embassy personnel. And as if that wasn’t enough, I read somewhere the other day that she doesn’t feel that we lost anyone important in that bombing. Now, this is the Democratic presidential candidate we’re talking about here, I want you to understand that.”

Asked how he would tackle the problem, the billionaire businessman promised he would “stop those crazy Muslims from North Korea at all cost.” “Let tell you, I’ve been in difficult situations all my life. I’ve struggled, I’ve been broke, I’ve been booed thousands of times. I’ve had my share of seemingly impossible situations and you want to know something? I’m still standing and I’m right here, and that’s the kind of man America needs to help it become great again,” he argued.

“Those crazy North Korean Muslims think they can get away with threatening the world; well, they’ve got another thing coming, I’ll tell you that,” he continued. “You know how I got a reputation as a wall-builder because of my presidential campaign and plans to build a wall on the Mexico border? Well, it wasn’t just for show. I am going to build a wall so great around all of North Korea that Kim Jong Un is going to have to push his engineers into creating an artificial sun just so he’ll be able to take a leak. And I’m not going to stop at a giant wall; for North Korea, I’m going all out with a ceiling, as well. I’m going to turn that country into one giant tomb, so that if he ever decides to launch those missiles, the only thing he’ll be hitting is his own fat a*s.”

“This is just another proof that you just can’t reason with Muslims, they’re not a reasonable people or religion. And the sanctions aren’t going to work, either. They’ll just start eating less than they already are and they’re going to get leaner and more difficult to kill if there’s ever a war with them. No, those North Korean Muslims are a special breed. The only thing that would work against them is stripping them of their motivation to go on fighting. Going after their will to live is what we’ll have to do if we want to beat them, and my wall with a hatch is going to deliver just that, unlike Hillary Clinton, who would only bend over for them, because, you know, that’s about all women like her are ever good at,” he concluded.


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